I shit glitters


Buckle up kittycats,

This is going to be a serious one!

I wanted to wright this blogpost last night, because I couldn't sleep and wanted to get it of my chest.
But I didn't. So here it is.. A piece of my mind, my fears actually.

As I have told you all many times before, I study musicaltheatre and will graduate this year.
So from that moment on I am a musical artist.. well on paper..
And I am shitting myself thinking about it.. Being all alone, without my teachers of classmated there to support me fulltime. Being an independent as an artist.. apart from a class or crowd.

It's not that I'm scared of standing on my own two feet next year. I've done plenty auditions, never as part of a group. So I know what it's like.
But it's going to be real after the summer, I will be an artist, an actress, from that moment on I will be judged by what I have/can. No school or age, or lack of experience to fall back on after hearing another no..
I love my school and the job that I am trying to get, becoming an actress..
But it always felt like a dream.
These past four years have been so surreal and now that it's all coming to an end I am scared.

I got an e-mail from someone I used to go to school with, she asked me if I wanted to perform the play I wrote and performed last month, on a festival this sunday.
WHAT?! But how could she ask me? Am I that good? Or does she just like me? Did she even see the play?And if she didn't who told her about mine? Have I made such a good impression?
I don't know!
And I don't want to know, because I will fill this one in myself; I am good and talented, my play was awesome, still is awesome! And that's why she asked me!
And this sunday will be the first time ever that I'll be an actual artist. (I know Ferry, I am always an artist) And I am, I always have been. But never without anyone I know from school around. Or with me in the same choir.
This will be me, alone on that day, alone on that stage, performing the play I made myself/alone (okay with the critical eye of my dear friends, and teachers who I'm giving big virtual kisses right now)..

And I am scared, but also excited!

This sunday will be the first day of me as an artist.

If you made it through this post thank you for hearing, well reading me out.. that sounds weird!
tomorrows post will be filled with sunshine and rainbows and monthly favourites!

Kisses on your elbows!


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